Not-So-Daring Duo
by Lung Tien Lien
Summary: Living Beyond the Everfree #3: Bottomless pits, monkeys, and pineapples - surviving part of one of Daring Do's adventures is harder than most ponies think, even with your best friend along for the ride. (Written for the "Caesar's Palace" forum's "Shipping Week" 9/4/2017 prompt, and rated "T" for safety.)


_**My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic**_

 _ **Living Beyond the Everfree #3:**_

 **Not-So-Daring Duo**

 **(Disclaimer:** **I own only my OCs. This (much more character-centric) one-shot, written for the** _ **Caesar's Palace**_ **forum's "Shipping Week" 9/4/2017 prompt, was inspired by the** _ **MLP: FiM**_ **episode "Daring Done". This is a loose prequel to the "Observations" fic, and we've got platonic Written Word/Sketchbook fluff and some Argent/Written Word tension here, folks. Enjoy!)**

 **0000**

Any pony living north of the Appaloosan Mountains and Macintosh Hills could tell you there was a distinct difference between reading about a fictional heroine's exotic archaeological adventures and experiencing them for yourself. For them, such a statement was elementary. However, deep inside the Equestrian lands called the "Mysterious South", where both magical and supernatural phenomena – no, nothing related to the relatively mundane field guide _Supernaturals: Natural Remedies and Cure-Alls That Are Simply Super_ – happened on regular bases, the citizens of Froud Valley knew well where and when one pony's (or zebra's, or dragon's) "fiction" suddenly became someone else's "reality".

"I think my reading streak for the _Daring Do_ series is coming to a stark end, and the Monolith is ruined for me forever," Written Word stated, staring down into the bottomless void below. "This is the worst fantasy fulfillment I've ever experienced!"

"You know I don't read much because I'm terribly slow at it, but I've had enough of Daring Do to last the rest of my life," Sketchbook agreed. She then gulped. "Can't wait for the nightmares – and the alto…arachno… What's the word for having a fear of heights?"

The two unicorns, tied back-to-back, shrieked as the rope suspending them over certain death jerked.

"Acrophobia! _Definitely_ acrophobia!"

"That!" Sketchbook cried. "Can't wait for that!"

" _Adiós_ , ladies," a heavily accented voice taunted from a passageway on the far side of the cavern. "I hate leaving you two _hanging_ beneath the Monolith, but I hope you have a nice _fall_! Muhuahahahaha!"

Sketchbook sighed, "Lunar phases of Nightmare Moon, that was awful."

"A.K. Yearling captured that son of a mule's sense of humor down to the letter. **YEAH, JUST LEAVE US HERE AN RUN, DR. CABALLERON, YOU** _ **COWARD**_ **! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THAT STUPID IDOL!"**

The echoes from Written Word's megaphone spell sent pebbles falling down from the cavern's ceiling.

"Yes, great idea, Wordy: Bring the roof down on our heads before we have a chance to drop!"

"Because I _really_ want either of those things to happen, Sketch! I always planned for us going out together like this!"

"…phrasing."

"You know what I _meant_! Gah, you've been hanging out with that ginger-maned coffee addict too much!"

"Espressa Foalgers?"

"Her, yes! When you could've been hanging out in the library with _me_ ," Written Word added under her breath.

"I don't wanna be cooped up in a musty old library all day―"

" _Musty_? I keep _my_ library more spick and spam than an art museum – at least when criminals and 'adventurers' aren't ransacking it for information on priceless treasures!"

"There are other things in Froud City I like doing besides lying around drawing and watching you read or write, Wordy!"

"I'm your _best friend_ , and you were my _first_ best friend!"

"That doesn't give you a monopoly over my time!"

"Oh, so you know the word 'monopoly' but not 'acrophobia'?"

"Do I _look_ like a dictionary to you?"

The argument stopped at the sound of loud, high-pitched chattering coming up from below.

Written Word dared looking down again. "What is that?"

"I, uh… I don't know."

"It sounds _alive_." The chattering grew louder, and Written Word's ears twitched, a sense of unwelcome familiarity bubbling up in her mind. "Oh, dear Celestia, no! Not _them_! Please, anything but those harbingers of disease and pestilence!"

"What? What is it? Who's 'them'?"

Before Sketchbook received a reply, both she and her friend saw the source of the noise: a swarm of monkeys climbing up the cavern walls below.

" _Monkeys_! Freaking _monkeys_!" Written Word exclaimed. "How in Equestria did they get _in_ _here_ from _down there_?"

"No frelling clue! Certainly not a plot-twist you or I would've come up with, Wordy, but they must've been drawn here by Caballeron!"

"Stupid, stupid shiny idols… And 'frelling'? I can't believe you still use… Wait. What…are those monkeys holding?"

The beasts perched around the cavern, ringing the unicorns from every possible side, and indeed, each of the tan-furred primates held at least one oblong, yellow, spiky object in their prehensile tails.

Written Word almost couldn't believe what she saw. "Are…? Are the monkeys holding―?"

 _*Splat*_

For a moment, the librarian remained motionless; she had no choice, stunned by a _very_ ripe pineapple pelted dead-center onto her horn. Sticky, citrus-scented juice ran down her absolutely mortified face, forcing her eyes to remain slammed shut.

 _*Splat*_

Written Word felt the impact of another aged fruit strike Sketchbook.

"Pineapples, Wordy. We – ow – are being hit – _ow_ – by pine-YEOWCH-apples!"

"Thrown by – ACK – _monkeys_!" Written Word itched to lob the fruit back at her attackers. "I _HATE_ MONKEYS! YEOW! ALWAYS HAVE!" she yelled, neglecting her megaphone spell. "GO – _OW_ – ROT IN TARTARUS – _BLECH_ – YOU DA―!"

"Don't provo― _mmph_! _Mmph!_ _Ptew! Ptah! Ptooey! Bleargh!_ Oh, NEVERMIND! I HATE – AUGH – MONKEYS TOO! GET – _OOF_ – EATEN BY YOUR OWN – _OUCH-OUCH-OUCH_ – FRELLING FLEAS, YOU FRUIT-WASTING LITTLE MONSTERS!"

Eventually, the monkeys ran out of projectiles, but the unicorns' relief came a split-second before the rope line, also battered by many pineapples, started fraying with a heart-clenching _snap_.

Holding back tears, Written Word shook off the fruit burying her horn, looked over one shoulder, and said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Sketch! I love you! You're my best friend!"

"I'm sorry, I love you, and you're my best friend, too, Wordy!"

"I just don't do well under pressure!"

"I know! It's okay!"

"If we live through this – or if we don't and get reincarnated and end up best friends – you don't have to hang out with me in my library ever again!"

"If we live, I'll hang out with you in your library for a while every day!" Another bit of rope snapped, the monkeys cackled, and Sketchbook screamed, "PINKY-PROMISE!"

"You know what my one regret is?" Written Word asked, sniffling.

"That you never got over your breakup with Argent?"

" _No_! My one regret is that I never got to see my library cleaned up after Daring Do and Caballeron's thugs nearly destroyed it! I would've re-shelved all of those lovely books myself! It would've been wonderFUUUUUUUULLLLLLL!"

Written Word and Sketchbook dropped like stones, the pair flipping until the former was falling consistently beneath her friend.

"I COULD USE A HUG RIGHT ABOUT NOW, SKETCH!"

"I'M BACK-HUGGING YOU, WORDY! IT COUNTS!"

Terrifying seconds of screaming and praying to the Princesses passed, but right when Written Word gave up hope, something grey and easily twice her size swooped under her and Sketchbook and grabbed ahold of the ropes tying them together.

"I've got you! Hold on!"

Propelling them upward, two dark wings beat powerfully on either side of the quite fortunate ponies.

"Argent!" Sketchbook gasped. "ThankyouCelestiaandLuna _thankyou_!"

"I never thought I'd say this again – or with sincerity – but, _my hero_! If I wasn't still angry, I would literally kiss you!" Written Word declared.

"Always there when you need me, Wordy," Argent said, not seeming offended at all. "Ah, would that last part be―?"

"No, that was _not_ an invitation."

Sketchbook huffed, "Well, that moment sure lasted a while."

Above, a brown pegasus mare with a black-and-grey-shaded mane and wearing safari gear smashed monkeys with her hooves, forcing the group of beasts to retreat the way they came. Written Word felt especial pleasure watching the biggest monkey get kicked in its flea-bitten face, and the pleasure tripled once she felt solid ground beneath her hooves and was untied.

After ensuring the last primate fled, Daring Do flitted over to the dragon and the two now-hugging unicorns.

"I am so, _so_ sorry about all this; I'm normally not so careless when Caballeron's around."

"Could've fooled _me_ ," Written Word growled. "Do us all a favor and take your 'adventures' someplace _else_ next time."

Daring Do winced. "Yeah… Uh, sorry again, but I've gotta catch up with Caballeron. Safe journey home!"

Flicking her wings, the pegasus zoomed after her escaping nemesis and whatever he'd stolen from the Monolith.

"Huh, some apology. She could've at _least_ promised some payment for the repairs to my library. Well, Argent, this entire ordeal has been an absolute _treat_ , but―"

Every hair in Written Word's mane and tail stood on-end as a long, smooth, draconic tongue licked from her cheek to her ear.

"Argent, you SNEAK!"

"You're _covered_ in pineapple juice, Wordy, and we're _flying_ home. You want that stuff dried into your coat by the time we reach Froud Valley? Ooh, and those scribe robes are dry-clean only…"

On that day, Equestria's Mysterious South heard the ragged, disembodied screech: "I! HATE! PINEAPPLES! AND! MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEYS!"


End file.
